Wow, have been off-air for a whole week! I blame this on dodge internet and then not having my charger in Edinburgh, you can blame what you like..... However, I have certainly not given up on my quest to conquer my fears:
Saturday I went to a party full of people I had never met and managed to talk to all of them. It was a costume party hosted by a schoolfriend so I had no idea how seriously to take it. So I figured, dress up, do the makeup, wear the accessories (I was Disney's Mulan) and if you look stupid, you can call it a fashion statement. MAN was I glad I bothered; my friend's friends really got into it and we had a great night without me looking a massive, shy, drunken fool. Which was nice.
On Sunday I did something I very rarely do with people who have known me since my early teenage years - I started to defend myself when attacked. When I changed school at 13 I was lucky enough to find an amazing group of friends, and we all had our place - mine happened to be that of clown/self-deprecator/sex educator (I knew as much as they did, I just read Cosmo and my public speaking ability made me sound knowledgable). The problem with this was that it makes referring back to what I said at 14, 15 really easy because it was so outrageous, and therefore always makes a good story, so when the friend giving the party started to use school incidents as comedic fodder on Sunday morning to a guy I used to like and she may still do, I corrected her on inaccuracies and told her when I was unhappy with her tone. I never usually do this, as I'd rather be liked than cause issues, but as it is, there comes a point where everyone deserves respect and that's what I went after.
Monday to Wednesday are, to be honest, gone far from my memory, but I definitely did something every day that scared me in some way or another..... I definitely checked my bank balance and talked about money with my father, and I feel that is enough to cover these three days!
Yesterday (Thursday) I decided to tackle things I had been avoiding and had therefore grown to a ridonkulous size in my mind, but were easily sorted when addressed. I phoned the council about their repeated council tax demands despite myself and the flatmate being students. I didn;t get through but I called 15 times and left the bill by the phone to remind me to call again; do it once and it loses its fear. I also emailed the landlords about something and then finalised that today, which was handy. Finally, I picked up the phone (I've already posted about picking up the phone, but calling is as bad if not worse) and called Harvey Nichols about an eyebrow appointment, which trust me is harder than you think - there are about five people to get through and they are all either bored, rude, foreign or a combination. However, I pushed on and made an appointment for the next day, which would, rather fortuitously, be Friday 13th.....
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